we're blogging at a bar
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She announced her abortion via fbk
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
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