I wish I could teleport
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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