Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
