Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
