Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
