Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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