i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
