I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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