It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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