I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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