My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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