in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize