I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
