so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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