So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
