at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
