i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
