It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Terrible idea I love it
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
