Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
