I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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