in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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