Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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