Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
