Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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