You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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