Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
