Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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