dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
