I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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