I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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