so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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