this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
