she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
