YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
