when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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