He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
