Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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