how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
