How'd it feel making her break her religion?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize