Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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