I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
