Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize