sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So here I am, sexting at work.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize