Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
