Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
