shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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