oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so let's talk penis.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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