she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
