thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
as a side note pls kill me
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
