Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
No more Irish car bombs ever.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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