I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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