Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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