"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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