Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
