we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I will die if light touches me.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
