She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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