I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize