It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I want to be your penis for a week.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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