Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
