she looked like the before picture.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
